This week is a week filled with ups and downs. Our message today at church, helped me reflect and deal with the plethora of emotions I experience this time of year, every year.
First, this is the time of year we found out we were to have another child in 2005, then lost the same child in April 2005. Second, this time of year, we became pregnant with Chantel, in 2002. So, the new life and reflection on loss, are tough to sort out sometimes.
Recently, I've thought about how dealing with the loss of a child, after having a child, and what it would be like if I don't have more children?
Well, I felt like God spoke to that issue today at church. Over the past year, I kind of said to God, no one on our Pastoral Team at church, seems to get my situation. I was trying to find someone who truly understands the pain that I've felt. There never seemed to be an exact match. Well, today I felt like that question was answered.
In a message today, I heard someone share how their family has had 3 children, but there last child died before birth, later in pregnancy though. They shared how seeing families with the number of children they were expecting to have, was difficult at times. They shared the joy they felt and then the extreme sadness when God seemed to provide a child for them and then take it away, due to health needs it had, in the womb.
Wow! That message hit home with me. Being an only child, wanting to have a bigger family, and not seeming to find the understanding or connection with others regarding that fact. It felt good to hear that today. Like God knows exactly how I feel. Even though the Bible says it, feeling it again, especially at this time of year was important for me.
A few points from today's message, as we reflected on Psalm 118, Matthew 21:1-11, and Isaiah 50: 4 -7 (God's help given to Jesus to endure the cross)
1. Jesus trusted God's promises- walking by faith, not by sight
2. We don't need to worry about doing things in our strength-
God is in charge and is powerful.
3. God's Spirit- Jesus endured the pain of the cross because he
looked toward the joy ahead. -Saving the lost and redeeming us
from Eternal death in Hell.
4. God will get us through what is to come.- We can Trust Him.
Wow, I'm just trying to absorb it all. As we think about this week, about the joy of Spring and new life. About the sadness and pain that Jesus went through for us and the joy of Easter as we can celebrate the chance to be with Jesus and our loved ones in Heaven one day. I am counting the days, yet learning how to deal with the pain and joys that I will experience here on earth. Where am I living? Here and now and my joy is ahead, in Heaven. Have a Blessed Easter.